It feels a bit disheartening being unable to go out and run, bike or swim even if my mind and will want to. It makes me really sad when I see trainings, races and team bondings missed: from long talks about out-of-town bike trips, and reviews about recent races joined among others.
I don’t want to question why I had to endure this disease. All I know is, my body knows more than I do. Maybe having hypothyroidism is one way of telling my body I have to slow down a bit, even if my mind and heart can take it.
Being the young idealistic, adventurous and curious individual, it seems time is so short I want to try anything and everything I get my eyes on. But, though human life is relatively short by geologic standards, there are times when we have to slow down and turn our gaze on our sides and on our backs, to never get hold off the things that are important to us.
For the past few months I’ve rarely been at home: from my six-week stay in Naga, to my trainings, the Tour of Hope, and school stuff I have to attend to. Maybe it’s now time for me to sit down and seriously think of my future also. Am I giving enough time to balance out all my needs in life? Maybe I had been too selfish living only for the moment.
Tomorrow, I will try my best to do even a 10-minute walk, though I know that very short exercise will entail a lot of huffing, puffing and cramping. Just to get things going: I really do miss training. But, I will also devote my time applying for grad school, and finishing the writing task I have to submit next week. For the rest of the day I will rest, just what my body needs, and I’ll dwell on things I have always missed doing: reading fiction, and playing the guitar though I’m never good at it.
I look forward to the day when things finally get better. I am so excited but for now, I have to listen to my body and let biology decide what happens next. I may have missed on some things, but I have now been given the chance to sit back and enjoy the beauty of the priceless things I tended to neglect.
I might as well enjoy these for now. After all, my body knows better.