My Response to 53 Questions

As a response to R’s reply to my previous post on the 53 Questions That Can Give Insights to Your Relationship, I’m putting in my rather cheesy and corny answers here:

1. What was your first impression about your partner? I didn’t like him at all. He was too in-my-face however I somehow felt there was a mellowness inside the rough exterior.

2. What did you like or love about your partner? His honesty.

3. How did the relationship start? We had an unplanned date in my university and got closer ever since.

4. Do you still like what you loved about your partner and why? Yes, values of honesty and truthfulness speak of who he really is.

5. Are you happy with the intimacy you share? Yes!

6. Do you feel the same way you felt for your partner at the beginning of the relationship? The love just keeps on growing that I would still have butterflies in my stomach when I don’t get to see him for some time.

7. Are you positively affecting each other’s life? Yes for me! I hope it is for him as well.

8. Have you started to do something because of each other’s influence? Yes, but not because of reasons other than of our own personal choice.

9. How often do you laugh together? Laughing is a natural part of life so, yes.

10. When was the last time you dreamt about your partner? I’m living the #relationshipgoal dream, so why dream?

11. Do you like spending time with your partner’s friends and family? Yes! Although I have yet to meet most of his friends.

12. How often do you talk on the phone with your partner? Every chance we get.

13. How often do you think of your partner? I don’t have to think about him apart from the things I do in life. Whatever I do, he is naturally a part of it.

14. Do you smile when you relate something from your daily life with your partner? Yes!

15. Can you recall the most romantic moment with this partner? Whenever he out of the blue says, “Mahal, I love you.”

16. Do you get each other’s feelings without the need to say anything? Yes!

17. What was the best moment in your relationship so far? (Are you smiling while recalling that moment?) Going through every roadblock is a victory for the both of us and everyone around us. So I would have to say those moments are the best.

18. How do you show your love for each other? By being true to ourselves, we give out the best within and in turn, give out the best in our partner. That’s true love for me.

19. When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner? 5 minutes ago.

20. Have you ever changed anything for your partner? Yes, but it was for the better though.

21. How much do you think you understand your partner? I’d like to think I understand him really well.

22. Do you trust each other? Yes!

23. Have you not let your partner do something just because you feel jealous or angry? Yes, but pointing it out made him look within and eventually found that it was worth changing.

24. How do you feel when others find your partner attractive? I’m proud, of course!

25. Do you feel jealous when your partner hangs out with a friend of the opposite sex? Not at all!

26. How serious are you both taking this relationship? Let’s say we smile at the idea of having a future together (OMG so cheesy).

27. Do you bring up arguments very often and why? Yes, usually when period is coming haha! But we just laugh about it.

28. Do you make sacrifices for your relationship? Sacrifice and freedom are both on the same plane. I choose freedom while others see it as sacrifice.

29. Have you ever apologized for what you’ve done wrong to your partner? Yes, always.

30. Do you forgive your partner’s mistakes easily? Yes, but we take our time to discuss why things happened the way they did. We never give room for “forget about it.”

31. Do you throw temper easily for small mistakes of your partners? No need. It is easy for us to admit our mistakes so we apologize, acknowledge our mistake, and assure each other that it won’t happen again.

32. Do you respect each other’s beliefs? Yes, this is so important.

33. Is it really necessary to know everything from your partner’s previous relationships? No. To grow we have to focus on the present– while taking the lessons of the past. Lessons (body) and events (soul) are two very differentiated things.

34. Do you believe in staying with this partner for a very long time or even forever? Yes!

35. How do you feel when your partner has to leave you for some time because of work or study? I’m so okay with that. I even encourage him. I’m just sad he doesn’t want to haha!

36. Will you say sorry to your partner even though it’s not your fault? Yes, to have conflict, it always takes two.

37. When was the last time you had an in-depth conversation with your partner? Yesterday.

38. Are you keeping any secrets that you’re afraid of letting your partner know? Some things I just don’t know how to collate in my head, so once I figure out those things myself, I’m going to tell him. “Things” about personal growth always appear elusive, don’t they?

39. Do you think your partner’s friends and family like you? I hope so!

40. Do you feel that your partner accepts the way you are? Yes, definitely!

41. Have you seen each other at your best and worst? Yes, many times.

42. Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? Why? First, the definition of what “cheating” is to both partners should be determined. When that line is crossed, that’s cheating. So to answer, never.

43. Have you ever thought about breaking up with your partner and why? Yes, on those times when I felt like I wanted to tackle work things only, alone. My workaholism– working on weekends, from morning to 3AM, choosing work over vacations, working on vacations, and not a single day goes by that I do not talk about work–hasn’t been very friendly to our relationship however, I’m glad we got through that. Now, it’s a part of our life and has even held us together.

44. Will you lie for the sake of your partner’s happiness and how do you define the line? No, because true happiness can only come from what’s genuine. Lying for your partner’s happiness is ‘your’ definition of ‘his’ happiness. That is totally unfair.

45. Are you in a relationship only because you enjoy the excitement or the feeling to be loved and cared about? Of course not! Love is way more than that.

46. Does this partner make you forget the painful feeling of your previous relationships? What painful feeling? Haha. People say I have a cold heart because I get over those kinds of things easily however, I live by my interpretation of “not meant to be.” So, what’s the point of brooding over things that haven’t worked out? Why do I have to waste my time, and life, on those things?

47. Do you look forward to your future with your partner? Yes!

48. Have you thought about marrying your partner? Yes!

49. Are you willing to compromise your happiness for a successful relationship? As said, true happiness should be genuine so compromising isn’t an option if long-term happiness is the goal.

50. When it comes to future, do you and your partner have the same relationship goal? Yes!

51. Are there more joyful moments than sad ones being together? Yes!

52. What makes you happier in a relationship– sharing or sacrificing? Everything just depends on WHY you choose to share and/or sacrifice. If that’s of the genuine kind then yes, I’m happy.

53. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person? Yes!

***

Desiderata

Truly, the best gift in– and to– the world!

Others say it’s too early to commit to just one person and there is no point doing so as humans are polygamous in nature. There will always be people who will spark your interest. You will always be attracted to other people along the way. And it can be mutual. For me though, it’s all about self-respect. In a romantic relationship, you allow yourself to be seen by your partner– at your best, worst, vulnerabilities– and to let that happen takes courage, commitment and mutual trust. It indeed is a lifelong process, so I choose to be vulnerable to that person who lets himself be vulnerable to me as well. It’s rare to find a person who’s willing to do that.

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