At exactly 6:40 AM every single day I wake up to the baby’s kicks. Throughout the day, I could feel him/her rolling around, switching between feeling happy, sad, peaceful, and as tired as me. I never thought that these little movements can mean so much: how these can make me feel so thankful for this gift of life, and how these can make me feel so humbled to be chosen as the carrier of this specific soul. It is such an amazing experience and I never thought that I could love this half-of-me so much– and I haven’t even held him/her just yet!
I am now on my 26th week and fatigue is, for the first time, taking over my day. I have been quite robust since the start of my pregnancy, saved from extreme morning sickness, mood swings, and cravings. Tuesday last week has actually been the very first time that I had extreme morning sickness and felt so sick that I threw up in our garden as I was preparing to leave home. To my surprise, my oldest dog, Kitty, hurriedly shuffled her way beside me and gazed at me all the while that I was throwing up. She was just staring at me all that time, and I felt her kindness and compassion, so pure and true, piercing through me– and all that, uttered without even a single word.
At that point, I felt all the more in love with Kitty. I had her when I was 18 as a birthday present from my Tito J. and Tita S., having just lost my dog just then. She’s been a witness to my ups and downs, and 11 years on, she is still here with me, supporting and loving me without question. I am really happy that she will also be a witness to seeing my mini me!
I choose to keep the baby’s gender a surprise until my delivery, which I think is a nice way to welcome my first born! It can be quite difficult to contain the excitement given that the radiologist herself finds it hard to keep it a secret. But it is a promise she kept and will keep until late June, my expected date.
One thing that I’ve learned so far that stuck ever since I had this baby is the importance of a disciplined mind, and disciplined action. Knowing that another soul is dependent on me makes me want to focus on what’s important, address my thoughts as just thoughts, address my opinions as just opinions, understand my feelings as just feelings, and recognize chaos as just a play on my wisdom. I know that this baby is growing calmer because of these learnings as I am, too.
I’m thankful that the Universe has finally allowed me to go on this path set for me at its right time. Pregnancy is such a humbling experience, and I thank all the mothers, especially my own mother, for all the love and teachings passed on through generations across time and space. I’ve read somewhere that worldwide, four babies are born every second. While every mother’s experience is different, I wish that every mother’s journey in every part of the world becomes a unifying factor to lift every woman up; not tear each other down.
Good night from me and my little Anthroonfoot 🙂