At 34 Weeks

Yesterday has been quite a ride. It was just midday and I’ve just logged in two hours of work when I felt something odd. Since I came back from Morocco, I’ve noticed that the baby has significantly decreased his/her movements. Before, I would wake up to the baby’s kicks, and I would feel him/her moving around my tummy after meals. But for 24 hours now, I have only felt ten movements at most. I told my mom about it and together with my brother Rad, they picked me up, and brought me for checkup. Since it was midday, no one was on queue just yet and I was first in line. The obstetrician could hear the baby’s heartbeats on Doppler but was concerned about the lack of movement; so, I was brought to another room for further examination and the baby was put under a fetal monitor.

Since I was feeling that the baby must just be tired from our recent trip, I told my mom that I’ll have Ichi, my brother, just pick me up after his training. My mom is supposed to have her clinic on this day which is a good three hours away from home. I told her not to worry, so together with my brother Rad, off they went.

The monitor ran for 30 minutes, and the doctor expected at least three movements. But there was none, so the doctor requested for an extension of 30 more minutes. There was none again. I was then requested to get an ultrasound but in this hospital where we went to, the radiologist already went home; and so, I was requested to get an ultrasound elsewhere as soon as possible.

At this point, my mom and brother were already on the road, and my other brother was one hour away but already on the way to pick me up. I started feeling my breath going faster, and my train of thought just wouldn’t stop. I’ve never felt so scared in my life, because being in the hospital in the middle of this situation feels like this little part of me that I love so much is starting to slip away from me. I knew I wasn’t “alone” in every sense of the word; but while waiting for my brother at the hospital lobby, on my own with only my small bag and this little me in tow, everything that I’ve been through since the start of this pregnancy just came rushing through my head. I never thought that certain triggers could evoke emotions so much.

I stayed at the hospital until late at night, and guess what? My mom and brother Rad drove back immediately to join me in the hospital, my brother Ichi went back home and brought my hospital bag (good thing I’ve already prepared it a month ago!), my brother Ren cut short his date to visit me, and my Dad, just arriving home from meetings in Manila, went to the hospital immediately. When I went out of the examination room, I wanted to tear up (but fortunately, I was able to hold it in) because of all the support I got from my family. Another part of me wanted to tear up because the situation reminded me of a particular absence, yet this place has been replaced by so many people who are so committed into loving and nurturing this child.

Mother Teresa-minI still feel overwhelmed with all the love and support I’ve received yesterday. I may not deserve all this love and kindness, but I know this innocent child does. After everything that we’ve been through since the very start, I know that the best thing that I can do for him/her is to work to the fullest to be strong physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually every single day. I should remind myself that I should channel my energy on those who truly love and care for me and this child; not on those who choose to bring us down.

The obstetrician believes that this decreased fetal movement is due to low amniotic fluid, that’s why the baby has gone weak due to dehydration. I’m going back for another checkup today and I’m praying that the baby is all good and healthy.

I wish to thank not only my family, but also everyone I’ve met yesterday who made this day so much easier: the midwives, doctors, nurses, and security guards who’ve been so kind and understanding of my worries.

Truly, it takes a village to raise a child!