Last day in my 20s! Can’t believe I’m turning 30 tomorrow and with the best birthday gift of all! 🙂
This is the first time that I got to write on my journal again. As I write this I got Raia napping on the crib for the longest time so far. I miss holding her in my arms as I stare at her face or watch YouTube videos (LOL, guilty!). But I’ve realized that I have to help her learn how to continue sleeping on her own, although, of course, I still need to be here to help her doze off. She’s only five weeks in this world and still adjusting to life outside the womb.
What can I say about motherhood? Five weeks on, it still feels surreal. It’s true that everything changes, but how, I ask myself. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but all I know is since the baby arrived, I’m still the same person in the same house, visiting the same rooms, eating the same foods, seeing the same old stuff, talking to the same people, yet everything feels different. It feels kind of eerie and surreal at the same time, knowing that I can never go back to how things used to be. This is my new “normal” now, that’s why as much as taking care of a newborn feels overwhelming, so does getting used to a life where I don’t have only myself to be responsible about.
This is also the first time in five weeks where I felt like I don’t have the brain fog from epidural-assisted childbirth anymore, and I started thinking about myself again (that’s why I took the luxury of having a long hot shower this morning!). I was pleasantly surprised that, albeit slowly, it didn’t take that long for things to settle down. Days go by pretty quickly even though at this point, all that the baby does is eat, sleep, burp, poop, and do cutesy stuff with her face the little time in a day she’s awake. Time does fly by quickly when you enjoy the moment.
I thank showers, tooth brushing, face washing, cleaning and organizing that I get to sneak in whenever the baby’s asleep for helping me keep my ground on this rather overwhelming first-time mother newborn-rearing ride. These help me so much in keeping my focus and making me feel still in charge of my day. Funny, that what used to be everyday activities are now considered “mommy time.” How much things have changed in just five weeks!
I don’t know when I can write next but when I do, for sure it’s when I’ve got another “me time.” I’m sure there will be more of that in the coming months.
Bye for now from me and my Little Anthro on foot 🙂